How long should I let a newborn cry in her crib?
Baby Bedding
LW asked:
I have a 7 week old daughter who was 6 weeks premature. Tonight will be her first night in her crib. How long should I let her cry before I go to her? I am a first time mom and unsure of how to handle this.
Howard
I have a 7 week old daughter who was 6 weeks premature. Tonight will be her first night in her crib. How long should I let her cry before I go to her? I am a first time mom and unsure of how to handle this.
Howard
March 27th, 2009 at 5:12 am
Rita
Joefon was here!
March 30th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Richard
try to let her be comfy not screaming for hours. 15 min max!
April 1st, 2009 at 4:06 am
Jason
go right away. You should never let her cry. Go and see what she wants or he and help her. If you have to breast feed.
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Jessie
You can go to her without picking her up. Rub her tummy and talk to her gently. Sing to her. Give that a few minutes, and if it doesn’t calm her down, go ahead and comfort her by picking her up.(You can’t “spoil” a newborn baby.)
April 4th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Jeremy
whatever feels comfortable for you,but I never let my baby cry for long,I believe they are crying for a reason and we should tend to them.Go with what feels right !!
April 5th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Micheal
Until she loses her voice, then she should stop
April 8th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Louise
5 minutes tops…. then stand next to the crib and swaddler her back up, (pick her up if need be) let her calm down and fall asleep again and lay her back down in the crib. Keep doing this until she gets used to her own crib. If you stop she will be sleeping with you for a while, good job for starting this early.
April 10th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Sally
u should wait maybe two minutes then go and see what is wrong wit her that is wat my mamma told me.
April 12th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Gail
not for to long only do it for like 2 minutes and if she relle starts crying take her out
April 15th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Pedro
as soon as you hear her cry you need to go to her to feed her, change her and burp her. Never just let a newborn baby cry.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Lillian
Go to her as soon as she cries. She’s too young to be left to cry for any amount of time.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Allan
for the first time you can sit in there and rub her back or belly till she goes to sleep just dont pick her up if you are wanting her to get used to it. after a week or so you just talk to her and not touch her. you keep moving farther away and she will be fine in about a month or two you should have no trouble. if she wakes up screaming then you need to go to her and reasure her you are there with a touch or words. good luck honey it takes time love and patience
April 18th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Theodore
I never let my babies cry, it broke my heart too much. I know a lot of people think thats a bad idea, but I felt that they needed a sense of security to know that someone would always be there for them. They are now 11 and 9 years old and I don’t think they suffered any harm from me coming to them when they cried. I treasured every moment I got to hold them, they don’t stay little for long.
April 20th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Margaret
She is only 7 weeks old and was premature. Dont let her cry at all. She is needing something when she cries. She is not just doing it for attention. She is either hungry, wet, or just needing comfort. My 3rd son was 6 weeks early too and I always went to him as soon as he cried. When they get older then you can let them cry for a little bit. But for now she is too young.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:41 am
Gina
max 1-2mins. try singing or clapping your hands to get them to stop.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:09 am
Joseph
when a baby cries out…she is either uncomfortable, hungry or wet. crying is her only way of getting attention. a good mom should be rushing to her aid since she is helpless. go as fast as you could.
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:49 am
Leslie
Babies cry because they need something, it is their only form of communication with us. Do not just let her cry.
April 25th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Lillian
Awwwwww. I never let my kids cry until they were maybe 3 months old and starting to be a bit more aware. As you know, your baby is a bit behind because of her prematurity. If it were me, I’d go into the room quickly, pat her on the back, sing to her, give her the binky if she uses one. If there was no calming her at all, I’d pick her up and rock her for awhile, or feed her if she needs it. You won’t spoil her for the first few months!
April 28th, 2009 at 5:56 am
Luis
It’s important for babies, especially preemies, to develop their lungs, give her at least 2 min, put your hand on her for 1 min, coo her, then pick up. keep an eye on skin tone, if she goes paler you can let her cry for awhile, just don’t leave her to cry alone.
May 1st, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Victor
no longer then a few minutes it’s different when it comes to premies.
May 1st, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Sylvia
well if your lucky she might not cry at all.but if she does, go ahead and check on her. at this age dont worry about spoiling, if shes crying more than likely something isnt satisfying her.so if she gets upset and wants to be held a little longer, go with it. but more than likely at her age and being premature, she will be ok with her crib.she will probably sleep right through it. good luck, i know being a first time mom is scary, you will do just fine.
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Glen
Hello Congrats!
5 minutes seems prety ok though you may observe her while crying to make sure all’s ok…as you would like your child to use organs like lungs while crying..
May 6th, 2009 at 6:45 am
Curtis
Your daughter is WAY to young to CIO. Just tend to her needs as she presents them.
May 8th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Clarence
there is defiantly not a set time each child is different. but dont let them cry so hard they make themselves sick. check all the key signs before letting them cry is her diaper wet or is she hungry. if she is dry and full then it is just kinda till you cant stand it any more. but after a few times of her knowing that you will come back and havent left her forever she will realize it is ok to be alone. just give it time…newborns are supposed to cry but remember they know just about as much about what she is supposed to do as you do. so teach her how things are going to work around your house. it will take alittle time but it will work. good luck and congrats on the new baby!
May 9th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Glenda
As a new mommy myself I went to my aunt who is a nurse and asked her the very same question. She said that sometimes babies just need to cry. 15 minutes is not too long to allow your baby to cry before going to her. If after 15 minutes she is still crying, my aunt told me that it is best to not pick her up. Talk to her, play some soft music, sing along with it, turn a mobile on for her, touch her, and just try to soothe her. If this goes on for half and hour to and hour (depending on how long you can hold out for) go ahead and pick her up. Don’t leave her room though, try to dance her or rock her to sleep….then put back in the crib and see if it worked. If not, start process over.
Getting a child to sleep in the crib in their own room can be tough, but it is important! You are starting at a good time. Just remember that you are the parent, and don’t loose sight of your goal! Good Luck!
May 12th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Martin
You shouldn’t let her “cry it out” until she understands that
when she cant see or feel you, you are still there
and that she is not being abandoned, and is aware of her surroundings.
This usually happens btw 6-9 months old (or ‘gestation age’ if shes a preemie, add 6+ weeks)
if you are worried about getting her to sleep more at night, make sure you keep all of the lights off. Artificial lights are confusing to them.Try turning on a dim light or a TV with the sound turned down if you need to change her diaper or feed her. It will happen naturally on its own. It worked for me, I didn’t have to let my son cry it out.
At worst, if you are breastfeeding id say you will probably be waking up every two hours for about a month, 3 hours at 3 months and so on and so on. (the “initiation”) Ive heard with bottle feeding they might sleep for slightly longer periods but will usually get colic and spend more time screaming anyways.
Good luck.
May 15th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Alex
At that age I would go to her straight away. 7 wks old and 6wks premmie She is as devoloped as a 1week old born at 40wks. You are not spoiling her if you go to her straight away, Your baby needs you for so much and needs to know you are there for her. Do what feels right for you, if you are are anything like me hearing her cry for more than a minute or so will break your heart!
May 16th, 2009 at 1:51 am
Kelly
Generally letting the baby cry will allow it to be slightly independant because if you keep attending to your child every minute of the day he/she will become so accustomed to it, it will become unbearable in future years as the dependancy on you will only increase! Thats not to say you should allow he/she to cry for very long periods but just enough to allow you to recognise if it is just attention he/she seeks or he/she needs something ie nappy change, feed!! Hope it will help, always did with my two little monsters!! But remember, don`t always give in as you will grow to realise the repercussions!! Good luck, take care
May 18th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Ruben
when a baby cries, he or she is trying to tell you that he or she needs something. so go right away when your baby cries.
May 21st, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Lloyd
none. she needs security and love…which comes from you meeting her needs/demands. to do that means you comfort and sooth her when she cries immediately.
crying it out is for lazy parents.
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:46 am
Tamara
oh my ur talking about a newborn u should leave her cry for approx……ZERO minutes….it is not recommended u allow a child under 9 months cry it out….hold your baby! at this age if you pick her up at the slightest whimper at will only teach her she dosent need to scream her head off to get the point across and u will be rewarded latter with a child who will no begin screaming at the drop of a hat…..u cannot spoil a child 6mo and younger (i believe it to be much more then 6 mo.) hold your little one as much as you can and be happy to be there for her ur all she has if u need to get things done or use both hands buy a sling or baby carrier they’re amazing tools when it comes to calming babies and keeping them happy they also allow for u to cook ,clean, talk on the phone without struggling one handed…..slings are also used for preemies they call it “kangaroo care” and helps them regulate breathing and heart rate and lowers chance for SIDS……GOOD LUCK and best wishes
May 24th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Dawn
However long it takes you to walk from where you are to where she is. You should NEVER let an infant cry unless it is choice between leaving the room for 10 minutes or you shaking the baby.
CIO should never be attempted until a baby is at least 6 months old and preferably 12 if ever.
Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies
SHUTDOWN SYNDROME
31 WAYS TO GET YOUR BABY TO GO TO SLEEP AND STAY ASLEEP EASIER
May 26th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Mildred
You shouldn’t leave a newborn to cry, and no your not the only mother to wonder! Babies cry because it’s their only way of communicating that they need something. You can’t spoil a newborn, so if she cries, go straight away. She probably wants feeding or changing or maybe just a cuddle. As she gets older you will learn her cries, and when you can leave her to cry! But for now, tend to her every need.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:25 am
Ramon
You shouldn’t let her cry any longer than it takes to get to her. Because of her prematurity she isn’t even a week old (development outside the womb is slower than inside). Crying unnecessarily stresses her, and that can impact things like growth and development. She needs every advantage you can give her to help her catch up. Usually pediatricians advise to expect development similar to her corrected age, not her actual age. You wouldn’t expect a newborn to cry for 10 minutes before being checked. At her age she isn’t going to be able to sooth herself. Talk to your doctor about when you can allow her to cry for a short period, and most pediatric offices have an advise nurse that you can check with on these kinds of questions. You might check on resources such as home health nurses or healthy baby programs. Many states or communities offer an educated professional to come to your home to help you adapt to baby. You’re going to have lots of questions but your best resource is your own instincts and your baby. Trust yourself to do the best you can for your daughter.
June 1st, 2009 at 7:12 am
Michael
My thoughts are that she is to young to “cry it out” ESPECIALLY that she was premature. If that is something that you must do then I would at least wait until 5 motnhs or so. Good luck and congrats on your new baby!
June 4th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Ethel
NEVER…………. It is CRUEL!
“Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms
the baby permanently. It changes the nervous system so they’re sensitive to
future trauma.”
- Dr. Michael Commons, Dept of Psychiatry, Harvard
I have read that in future generations, the cry-it-out method will probably be considered child abuse.
Babies are made to wake up throughout the night, they NEED to feed at night and it is thier only way of communication.
It does not excercise thier lungs,
it does not teach them to be independant,
America’s “let them cry” attitude toward children may lead to more fears and
tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers.
Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies
close, console them when they cry, and bring them to bed with
them, where they’ll feel safe, according to Michael Commons and Patrice
Miller, researchers at the Medical School’s Department of Psychiatry.
In a paper presented at the meeting, Commons and Miller contrasted American
child-rearing practices with those of other cultures, particularly the Gusii
tribe of Kenya. Gusii mothers sleep with their babies and respond rapidly
when the baby cries.
“Gusii mothers watching videotapes of U.S. mothers were upset by how long it took these mothers to respond to infant crying,” Commons and Miller said in their paper on the subject.
You know what? It upsets me too! Shame on all the mothers who let thier babies cry!
Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain? Here is how science answers this alarming question: